Newt FAQ

for advanced newtkeepers

Do newts like to ride in station wagons?
Yes. Newts enjoy rides in station wagons, especially when they get to ride shotgun.

Should I let my newt drive my station wagon?
No.

Should I buy my newt a chemistry set? What if he is an intelligent but evil newt?
Chemistry sets are excellent tools for fostering a love of science in young newts; however, if your newt is as evil as you say, the chemistry set may be a bad idea. Probably your newt can make his own chemistry set from household chemicals if he is very intellegent. Lock the cabinets and buy Mr. Yuk stickers.

Can I train my newt to cup his hands, and hold water and himself therein?
If a newt could cup his hands, he probably could, but newts are generally unable to cup their hands. Search the internet and your local library for books of newt tricks that newts are able to do.

What do I do if my newt is drunk? Mind you, he is intelligent and very evil.
A drunk newt never hurt anyone.

What do I do if my newt obtains a Jacob's Ladder and sets up an evil laboratory?
(see the question about the chemistry set)

If I handle broken newts while pregnant, will I suffer birth defects?
Yes, you will suffer birth defects, but your children will be fine.

If I leave town, shall I trust my newt alone, or should I hire a babysitter?
Leave your newt by himself. A newt can get indigestion from eating a whole babysitter