Look, kids, even I know this is wrong. Goldfish are animals, not toys, and they need to have room to swim around in. A goldfish this size needs at least a 15-gallon tank or, better yet, a pond. And goldfish grow: this fish will get to be twice the size he is now. So let's do our goldfish a favor, and treat them like the majestic, free-swimming animals that they are.

This message brought to you by Naked Girls Against Fish Abuse.